


Nun to Nurse- Series of One Shots

by levinson_mannion



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 19,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26616598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levinson_mannion/pseuds/levinson_mannion
Summary: A series of one shots based around Sister Bernadette/Shelagh Turner.Originally posted on FF.net
Relationships: Bernadette | Shelagh Turner & Angela Turner, Bernadette | Shelagh Turner & Timothy Turner, Bernadette | Shelagh Turner & Trixie Franklin, Bernadette | Shelagh Turner/Patrick Turner
Comments: 43
Kudos: 11





	1. Button

They sat on the couch, his arm slung over her shoulder, her cheek resting on his chest. They were talking. Nothing, in particular, the conversation strayed between Patrick's patients to wedding plans to Shelagh's afternoon with Trixie.

"I could have sworn the button on my lab coat was going to come off!" Patrick laughed finishing a story

"Oh not again! Really, Patrick Turner, I swear you hate them lab coat buttons!" She joked back

"What do you mean, not again? When have there ever been a missing button?" he asked, trying to sound lighthearted but with the look of puzzlement etched upon his face.

"Oh yeah, I have not told you yet have I?" he shook his head slightly as she sat up straight and looked down, smiling at her fidgety hands, "Once, at lunch at Nonnutus, Nurse Miller and Franklin made... A comment" Shelagh hesitated and looked up at her fiancee's bewildered face for a split second

"What sort of comment?" Patrick looked utterly confused at this strange story and his fiancee's weird behaviour.

"Sister Evangelina came in saying about no more gas and air and how dishevelled you looked, so I started to worry." She saw a hint of a smirk dance on his lips, "After that, Nurse Miller mentioned how a button had fallen off your lab coat and you had no one to sew it on for you."

"I must admit I had never noticed!" Patrick chuckled, Shelagh laughed half-heartedly.

"That worried me even further, and then Nurse Franklin then said, um, I can not remember her exact words but it makes you look extremely unprofessional, and how Timothy looks, well, unkempt." She looked at his face, he looked like he was hiding guilt in a smile, "There is no need to worry though, I defended you!"

"Shelagh, you what? I am, " He was laughing really hard now, "I am sorry I am thrilled you defended me but you were a nun and what did you say!" Shelagh hit him lightly in the chest but smiled.

"Speak more highly of doctor, please. And I'd thank you to pass me the malt loaf." She grinned at Patrick's shocked but laughing features.

"You said what?!" He laughed as Shelagh dug her head in his shoulder to muffle her laughter, "Shelagh, you really said that! I never knew Sister Bernadette as well as I thought I did! What was the other reaction?"

"Shocked, to say the least, but they never brought it up again."

"Well, my beautiful fiancée loved me for longer then I thought, when did you fall in love with me?" The words fell out his mouth before he could stop them and as he saw Shelagh's eyes drop to the ground, "Oh I am sorry Shelagh, you do not have to answer if you do not want to!" He inwardly cursed himself for being so impertinent and making her uncomfortable.

"Why do we save this conversation for another day, I have to head back to get to my lodging before curfew, darling?" Shelagh started to get up and gather her things, (somewhat reluctantly).

"If you say so love." He chuckled "Come on I will drive you." He kissed her gently on the forehead and guided her outside to take her home.


	2. Comfort at clinic

My she is beautiful. He should not be staring and definitely not thinking those thoughts. But she is beautiful. Patrick Turner stood just outside the cubicle he was working in, waiting for Nurse Lee to get their next patient. The women he was looking at was not even doing anything out of the ordinary, just comforting a child who obviously did not want to be here or her mother to go behind the screen or something. However all he could think of was how beautiful Sister Bernadette looked.

Just as she got up smiled over at Nurse Franklin who then took the child's mother, the insufferable Mrs Bushly into her cubical. Just as she went to get her next patient, Nurse Lee returned with Mrs Frood.

"Oh great, this is going to be a long appointment!" he muttered to himself, all she does is flirt with him, but her urine is full of protein so he must look over her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later on, after clinic, Patrick catches sight of Sister Bernadette in the kitchen and goes over, pretending to get a drink.

"Well done on calming that little girl earlier Sister, you are excellent with children!" Be cursed himself for sounding so monotone and abrupt, he did not even say hello!

"I just did what we all do." A blush deepened on her cheeks, eyes intent in looking at the clipboard in her hand which he knew she did not need to read, "Goodbye Dr Turner, have a nice evening."

"Oh, Sister, I forgot to mention, Timothy asked me to tell you that his new Caterpillar has made its cocoon." she smiled at this, making him smile, Gosh her smile is breathtaking.

She laughed slightly, "Could you tell him that I can not wait for him to tell me more when he comes to Nonnatus tomorrow, thank you, Dr Turner, now I really must go. Goodbye"

"Will do Sister, goodbye." and off she went, following Sister Evangelina, out of the hall. Oh, how he wished he could follow her, or she goes out and waits in his car or better yet for her to stay and wait for him.

"No." he Scolded himself, "She is a nun, for heaven's sake!" and with that, he was off back to the surgery, sighing to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short and bad but I think they get better 😂


	3. Pregnancy Tragedy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major Character Death Warning! You have been warned...

She looked down into her lap. Blood. You could barely see the fabric. With tears streaming down her face she got up, dizzy. She made herself look as presentable as possible, looking in the mirror drying her face, she could not think straight.

The baby. Oh no, oh no, oh no, I can't lose this baby, not now, I dreamt for this for so long, now I have my chance and I am losing it!

She came out of the washroom, hand trailing over the wall, her head in a daze. She was merely going to the telephone on her desk, but as soon as her hand left the wall...

Crash.

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Crash.

At the sound of a crash and a slight scream, he got up and ran around the desk, he did not care that the inspector was there, that sounded exactly like Shelagh's scream.

He ran out of his office to find Shelagh moaning quietly on the ground.

"Shelagh, no no no, Shelagh!" he fell to her side holding tightly on to her, "Shelagh it's alright you'll be ok" he vaguely registered Nurse Gilbert coming in and ringing for an ambulance, all he could think about was his darling Shelagh. He looked over at the inspector "Pass me my briefcase!" he shouted at the inspector.

"Patrick, I am so sorry" she was struggling to keep her eyes open as the inspector placed his briefcase next to him.

"Shh," he stroked her hair "Don't you dare, say that, ok? This is not your fault!" he move the one hand off her head and opened the briefcase.

"I love you, Patrick, please take care of Tim and Angela and yourself. Patrick I-"

"Shelagh! SHELAGH!" he took his hand off his case and to her neck.

Her pulse had stopped.

He had lost his true love. He had lost his darling Shelagh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! When I write this I was in a REALLY bad mood, so I wrote this and yep.


	4. I need a hug- Shulienne

Knock, knock

It has been a week since her explorative surgery which found out she could not have children if her own. Bar the first day, she has not let Patrick look at her, let alone touch. Now stood on the steps of Nonnatus, she wanted only for some guidance.

Nurse Mount was the person to open the door.

"Mrs Turner, how nice to see you! What brings you here?" she led Shelagh into the front hall.

"Good Morning Nurse Mount, I was hoping to speak to Sister Julianne if that is possible?"

"Of course! she should be happy to see you." Nurse Mount led her upstairs and left Shelagh at the door with a smile.

Knock, knock

"Come in!" She heard from the other side of the door. Her mentor for so many years, someone she thought to be a mother, bade her entrance.

"Shelagh! How are you-"

"I need a hug." The words fell out of her mouth before her brain registered what was going on. Sister Julienne practically sprinted around the desk, and as soon as Shelagh was in her arms, the tears fell from Shelagh's eyes and sobs racked her body.

"Oh my dear" after a minute of the older of the two holding the younger in her arms and lightly rubbing her back she brought her to one of the two chairs in front of her desk and sat herself into the one next to her.

"What happened?" She asked concerned.

"Sister, you know how I have that surgery," Sister Julienne nodded, "I found out I can not... Can not... conceive." Shelagh blurted out between sobs.

"Oh Shelagh! I am so, so sorry!"

"I feel dirty and I needed someone to talk to."

Sister Julienne grabbed hold of Shelagh's hand, "You are not dirty! Do you understand, you may not be able to have children but you are under no circumstances dirty!"

"Thank you sister, really thank you." Shelagh was really touched by them words.

"As you came to me I believe you and Dr Turner have not been getting along, am I right?"

"No, not entirely. I just did not want him to touch me, I have hardly been able to look at him."

"And after our chat I believe you will talk to him?"

"Yes, thanks to you Sister." She smiled up gratefully.

"Sister, do you mind terribly if I do not come to clinic this afternoon, I need a bit of time before, well, being around baby's again, just walking in the street has been hard, mothers wishing they did not have their baby, or telling them off and I love Tim and am so grateful for him but I need time for before I see others living my dream."

"Of course not! We managed last week, I am sure we can do it again!"

"Thank you Sister, I will leave you now, but thank you, this has helped in more ways then I thought." And with one more quick hug and smile, Shelagh left to go home and reconcile with her husband and take the afternoon off.

Sister Julienne was left sending a prayer up to God for happiness for her former Sister and her new life with her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have read loads of stories from the prompt “I need a hug” so I did that. 😂


	5. Never let their guards down

Click

The door shut behind Mother Mildred and Patrick and Shelagh looked at each other in the foyer Patrick burst into laughter,

"Patrick!"

"I am sorry Darling but when she said that the nurses marry and religious sisters never let there guard down in that department, " he used air quotation marks around the last 10 words, as well as trying to keep a hold on his laughter "I almost started then!"

Shelagh looked at him sternly as they continued to walk into the living room, "I was just like the comments I got when I first renounced my vows, it was positively mortifying!" Patrick let out another laugh as Shelagh hit him lightly on the chest but as he was saying sorry between hiccoughing down his laughter, Shelagh's lips turned up slightly into a smile of sorts.

"Come on girls, time to get ready for bed, you to Teddy." Shelagh picked Teddy up as Angela asked Patrick to read her and May a story.

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Once Teddy and the girls were tucked in and read to, and lights out was negotiated with Tim, Patrick and Shelagh tidied the lounge. Once it was up to Shelagh's standards again, Patrick sat on the couch with one arm lying on the arm of the said couch and the other around Shelagh who has snuggled up in him, with her head against his chest.

"Do you think we should go?" Sheath asked hesitantly

"Well if Mother Mil-"

"I do not want to hear her name again, I believe it is good for the order but I am asking is it good for us?"

"I believe it would be good, it is only ten days and it could do us some good."

"But the children-"

"I know, I know. And the children will like it at Nonnatus, plus I would enjoy it if you brought a certain bri-nylon nightdress..."

She laughed and looked up at her Husband "Patrick! I definitely could not deal with being pregnant or having another baby! Besides, that was for warm weather in South Africa, it was freezing at night where I came from during winter and that is just under two-hundred miles south, meaning it was warmer!" She then smirked and stated flirtatiously, "Moreover, I always want that nightgown to be my Africa nightgown."

"I think we should discuss this tomorrow, with a clearer head and perhaps you will not flirt so much with me!" he smirked down at her as her head nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"I think I want to go to our bedroom darling, do you?" she looked up at him innocently but with passion in her eyes.

"Of course darling" and in one swift movement both of them stood and pulled each other hand in hand up towards there bedroom, they were not going to go to sleep for a while though.


	6. Goldfish and Kisses

Trixie, Lucille, Valerie, Phyllis and Shelagh were laughing together, each holding a bag of water each, with a tiny goldfish in each.

Phyllis, who was slightly in front of the other four girls, asked, "Well what are we to call these little fishes then?"

Lucille, who was standing on the outer right, answered: "I am just going to call mine Goldie, simple!"

Trixie had a grin wide across her face, "I know exactly what we are going to call these fish, and I am sure Shelagh does too." With this, all eyes turned to Shelagh with looks of confusion- except Trixie who was grinning like the Cheshire cat- Shelagh's face dawned with understanding. She burst out laughing.

"What is going on?" Valerie chuckled standing in the outer left she brought everyone to a bench in an effort to see if she could get Shelagh to stop laughing.

"Trixie, I hope you are not referring to Jane's fish-" Shelagh began but seeing Trixie's wild nodding, she began to laugh again, "Oh no Trixie! You have to be the one to explain!"

With that Trixie began, a few years ago, " Trixie began only to be interrupted by Shelagh saying 58, continued with, "myself, two other midwife's, Nurses Lee and Miller as well as a medical orderly called Jane. We went to a fair, the four of us went to the fair when Jane won a goldfish. On the way back we were discussing our first kisses, and I decided to name the goldfish after Jane's first kiss. The only problem was she had never been kissed before!"

Shelagh the interrupted, "Trixie was so shocked that she said to me 'imagine living your life without being kissed!' so I reminded her who I was." She smirked over at Trixie

"Who were you?" Lucille asked innocently

"Oh. You do not know, do you? I was, um, a nun. Sister Bernadette." a blush rose on Shelagh's cheeks as the two newest midwives gaped.

"You were nun?!" Lucille exclaimed

"Trixie asked a nun about kissing!?" Valerie looked at Trixie then over to Shelagh, "Ad you were the nun! But you're married now?!"

"I was a nun for over a decade and married around six months after giving up my vows. Now Trixie continue with the story, please." Phyllis was now the one laughing, she knew since going to Africa.

"Well we had a Reverend staying, the Reverend Applebee-Thornton and long story short, Jane's goldfish had a name by the end of his visit, so it is the Nonnatus tradition to name goldfish after first kisses, so stories girls!"

"You start Trixie, it was your idea!" Shelagh's eyes twinkled looking at the blond.

"Well, it was a man called John Bucker in 48, it was a movie kiss, through the wire fence, he went to his plane, a cheeky wink and was off!" Trixie smiled as the other girls- bar Phyllis who rolled her eyes and smiled- giggled.

"Mine was 1930, a friend called Henry Hill was going on a date and wanted to practice kissing, I offered and he kissed me on the cheek," Phyllis said matter of factly. The girls looked on rather shocked.

"Mine certainly was different, Leo Gardle, I was coming out of the library and a friend met me, we walked along the beach, and he kissed me. We only remained friends though." Lucille said, with an air of a dream.

"Gerald Panderwaker we were both 13 and went to a cafe together and long story short, we kissed at the end, for about a split second and I never spoke to him again, he moved the following week to Kent." Valerie said with a smile.

"My Valarie! 13! Anyway, Shelagh, you have been awfully quiet, when was yours?"

Shelagh dreaded this, no one but her and Patrick knew about the kiss in the old parish hall, and she certainly did not want to tell everyone about kissing as a nun so she settled on her third kiss with him, her second she did not want to disclose either, it was just outside of Poplar, with Timothy asleep he almost whispered "You are beautiful and I love you." with that, she leant over and 'bold Shelagh' emerged she kissed him on the lips and pulled away after only 3 seconds, but it felt like an eternity. "I love you too, and it thrills me that I am allowed to say it, for I have felt it for longer than I first thought." she whispered back.

Shelagh smiled and disclosed her third kiss: "After recent news, you have learnt about me, I believe you know who, and it was when he engaged, he kissed my ring in the old Parish Hall, mere months before it being knocked down."

"Oh, that is not what I expected, but amazing all the same!" Trixie laughed, squeezing her hand slightly.

"Let's head back and find a bowl for fishes John, Henry Leo and John at Nonnatus and Shelagh can find a bowl for Patrick at I'm her house" Valerie winked.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shelagh walked home and into the sitting room to find Patrick reading The Lancet.

"What's that?" Patrick asked a smile playing on his lips.

"Me and each of the girls won a goldfish each." Sheath said matter of factly as she walked into the kitchen, with Patrick on her heels.

"What's this little one's name then?" Patrick asked as Shelagh poured the little fish into a bowl.

"His name is Patrick"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Trixie would 100% always bring this up with a new midwife. Always.


	7. Scottish Gaelic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations at the end

The nurses were slightly ahead of the nuns, giggling and talking, guiding there bikes and equipment to the Parish Hall. The nuns, also guiding bikes and carrying equipment, were slightly behind, Sister Monica Joan challenging Sister Evangelina to debate on the universe.

A man came out of nowhere and in a loud and slurring Scottish accent began: "Oh coimhead an seo! Buidheann de chailleachan-dubha! Buidheann de dhaoine gun mhath a tha den bheachd gu bheil iad nas fheàrr na a h-uile duine eile fhad 's Nach urrainn dhaibh dad a dhèanamh ceart! Saoil dè an coltas a th 'air an fhear bheag sin fo-"

All of the Nurses and Nuns turned around, to see the man talking what they believed to be a loud of nonsense, with Trixie and Jenny gaping Sister Evangelina was going to say something when sister Bernadette stepped in;

"Tha mi a 'smaoineachadh gum b' fheàrr dhut sùil a chumail air do bheul agus ar fàgail na aonar! Is dòcha gu bheil sinn a 'creidsinn eadar-dhealaichte dhut ach cha bu chòir sin a bhith gu diofar agus chan eil thu a' dol a dh 'fhaighinn a-mach cò ris a tha I coltach, thu Jakey!"

Sister Bernadette turned around on her heel-in a vey Trixie like way- and walked away with the Scottish man mumbling under his breath walking away as her co-workers stared at her.

"Sister, what is going on?" Cynthia was the first to recover her voice and asked the question on everybody's tongue.

"He just said some rude things about us and I put him straight that's all." The blush rose in Sister Bernadette's cheeks as she spoke

"I say, where did you learn to say that?" Chummy asked extremely shocked

"Everyone learnt it at school and my father used to talk in Gaelic a lot, helped his business." Sister Bernadette's cheeks grew more red as she held the door open for everyone to come inside.

"Thank you Sister!" Was all Sister Julienne was able to say, and Sister Monica Joan still had not recovered her voice from shock

"What did he say?" Jenny piped up, setting up the scales

"To roughly translate he said: Oh look here! A group of nuns! A group of good guys who think they are better than everyone else while they can't do anything right! I wonder what that little one looks like" Sister Bernadette said nervously as the nurses, in particular, gaped at her

"And what did you say?" Sister Evangelina asked with a laugh but there was a hint of arrogance in the question

"I think you better watch your mouth and leave us alone. We may believe different to you but that should not matter and you are not going to know what I look like, you alcoholic." Sister Bernadette answered meekly staring down at the chairs she was putting out

"You said what?" Sister Julienne was extremely shocked but her voice had a note of something else- was it pride? Meanwhile, Trixie shrieked giggling

At that moment Dr Turner arrived, "Hello, sorry I am late I-" he stopped and saw everyone gaping at Sister Bernadette and Trixie stiflingly a giggle, "What have I missed?" He asked with a sigh but a smile played on his lips.

Sister Monica Joan spoke for the first time to answer his question, "Everything!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first paragraph in Scottish said:
> 
> Oh look here! A group of nuns! A group of good guys who think they are better than everyone else while they can't do anything right! I wonder what that little one looks like-
> 
> The second paragraph of Scottish said:
> 
> I think you better watch your mouth and leave us alone! We may believe different to you but that should not matter and you are not going to know what you look like, you alcoholic.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	8. Trixie’s advice

"I am a loser doctor! Can you not see! It is all my fault! I must have done something wrong! I am a fool! I am a stupid fool that has failed you, Nonnatus, the baby, the family and God! I have failed all too often, so please leave me be, I need some time to think!"

Sister Bernadette spat the words out, angrily but had a layer of sadness and hitched at the end, tears threatening to fall. She left the doctor in the clinical room- Why now of all times does his autoclave have to be playing up!- and practically ran to her cell. She slammed the door shut. This was not in her nature at all, she hardly ever got angry but her feelings from the past few months crept up on her. Now she was unsure if he would follow her. Does she want him to follow her?

Sister Bernadette practically fell onto the bed in sobs. Her feelings for the man she loved but was not allowed to love, her devotion was wavering, or was it? Was it just a new path being made for her? What had gone wrong with Lisa Drops baby boy? What had she done wrong? These thoughts flew around her mind until she had no energy left to continue crying. She took the handkerchief out of her pocket and using the mirror in her room, cleaned her eyes and sat- far more calmly- on the bed.

This was until a knock came at her door.

"Who is it?" her voice waved slightly

"It's me, Sister, I got you a cup of tea!" Trixie's cheery voice sailed into the room and Sister Bernadette opened the door and gave a small smile

"Thank you, really, thank you!" Sister Bernadette took the cup and sipped it, Soothing her ragged throat as Trixie sat next to her on the bed

"Not at all, what happened? I heard you say something to Dr Turner and I saw you run past and I think the whole of London heard your door shut, so what went wrong?" Trixie asked

Sister Bernadette took a deep breath and told Trixie the story, "You know Lisa Drop's baby boy I delivered yesterday?" Trixie nodded, "He died this morning before I got there on my morning rounds. I called Dr Turner but nothing could be done and when we got back to Nonnatus, I went to clean my equipment when I realised Dr Turner was behind me because his damn autoclave is playing up and he told me it was not my fault when it was and I got angry and here we are!" Trixie looked slightly taken aback, for only a second then began,

"Sister, there is no way this was your fault! You told us it was a normal delivery and you are probably the best midwife at Nonnatus house and I know you do nothing wrong so this is not your fault! Sister, everyone here has gone through a death of a baby, you were with me when the I delivered my first still-born, unexplained deaths are some of the hardest and you will get through this, you always have and always will!" Trixie firmly told the Sister who smiled back at her.

Sister Bernadette through one rule into the wind- this situation called for it- and hugged Trixie, tightly.

"Thank you, Trixie, you are a really good friend and, an outstanding midwife."

Trixie smiled and sat Sister Bernadette up. "Now Sister, do you feel up to having lunch or do you want me to bring you a plate?"

"I think I will come down." Sister Bernadette stopped Trixie just before she opened the door. "Also, please do not tell anyone about my use of language earlier."

"Of course not! Now we must get downstairs." and with that and a wink, the pair went downstairs. Nobody at lunch luckily asked about the Drop's baby and at the end of the meal when Sister Bernadette had a small laugh at a joke by Chummy, Trixie's reassuring wink caused the Sister to relax a little.

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Many years after this, Shelagh looked back and thought about how much Trixie had always been there and she is now standing beside her picking out a new outfit for Shelagh's post-baby body.

"Bet we never thought this was going to happen the day of the Drop's baby!" They both dissolved into giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just saying- but we need more Shelagh and Trixie moments. Yes I am bitter about this.


	9. Longing for girlhood

Sister Bernadette walked back from the lavatory towards her room. At dinner, she was silent but knew Chummy was going out with Peter and the other three girls would wait in Trixie's room for her to get back and tell them everything.

Oh how Sister Bernadette wanted to join them.

It was at times like this she wished away her habit. She would love to be waiting, drinking (The nurses don't know that she knows about the drinking, but she does- but doubts the other Sisters do) and listening to the latest record on Trixie's record player. Sister Bernadette wanted to be in the room with them, not in her habit, listening to Chummy's night out in better detail, Jenny's recent excursion with Jimmy, Cynthia trying to keep things civil but ending up laughing with the others and Trixie's reviews on people and whoever she is currently associatingherself with.

The young Sister walked past Trixie's room, she realised Chummy was back and the door not quite shut. Sister Bernadette, practically on impulse, listened in;

"So? I thought it went really well, he was a perfect gentleman!" Chummy said Siter knew she must be blushing, even if she could not see

"Shame! So, no kisses yet?" Trixie's unmistakable voice Saunted into the Sisters ears

"Trixie!" Cynthia admonished, causing Sister Bernadette to stifle a laugh, "That was rather impertinent!" the four girls fell into a state of giggles

"No, he did nothing of the sort, I am not sure I am ready yet anyway!" Chummy said through hiccups

"Shame, and what do you mean not ready!" Jenny asked

"Jenny! You are almost as bad as Trixie!" Cynthia cried but even through the door Sister Bernadette knew Nurse Miller would be smirking at the least

"Sorry, ok I am not" Jenny laughed back

"I am must not ready for a full-on kiss yet alright?!" Chummy laughed and Sister Bernadette beard someone fall back on the bed, she thinks it's Trixie

"Oh well then!" Jenny laughed

It was then Sister Bernadette came to bee senses and realised no matter how much she wanted to be in there as one of the girls, or how much she wanted to not take part in Silence when all the girls are making tea and talking or how much she wished she could not be a nun, she was.

The Sister slowly made her way to her room, not far away and stood inside. She looked at the bed, then at the door. Sister Bernadette left the door open and quietly sat herself down next to the door frame. She could still hear- even if it was almost inaudible- the distant giggle of the girls and the quiet tune from the record player and the Sister savoured this moment, almost like sitting on the boundary wall and listened.

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It was around half an hour later when the noise was quieting down and Sister Bernadette's eyes grew heavy, (but knew sleep would not invade her) she slithered into bed.

Sleep would not come for many hours as the young Sisters imagination took over...

What would it be like to be sat with the girls as Shelagh...


	10. Will not be missed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attempted suicide and character death warning. Canon divergent.

"Get a move on!" Sister Bernadette angrily muted to herself as she rode into a tunnel structure. Helen Justavoy has just died in labour, and her baby girl had only been out the womb for a matter of minutes for her just to die.

The Sister cleaned the room, packed up her equipment and told the OFS what happened as they took the two bodies away. Mr Justavoy had been outside the room and as the Sister went to leave, punched her, hard, on the nose. He screamed at her and did not allow her to get up. In the end he had tears streaming down his face and he walked off, muttering "Ruddy Sister, killed my innocent wife"

Now here Sister Bernadette was, in the middle of a tunnel chucking her bike down. She slumped down on the ground next to her bike and pulled her bag out roughly, and opened it up.

"Idiot, you stupid, stupid women, you killed her! You should of done better." She told herself, every patient touched the Sister, but Helen. She had been full of life and excitement, happiness and joy. Now she lay in a morgue. And the Sister blames herself.

Sister Bernadette took a clean knife out of her bag, she had not needed it during the delivery.

"I should kill myself."

It was at this moment Dr Turner came round the corner in his MG. He spotted the Nonnatus bike on the floor and the small figure next to it. It was definitely a nun, he recognised the blue habit and the figure was small.

Sister Bernadette.

The doctor ran out of his car, his feelings for the small nun had been growing and this sight tore his heart into a thousand pieces.

That was when he noticed the knife in her hand.

"Sister!" he screamed, "What happened?!"

"Stay away! She died! Because of me, she died!" She had tears falling like Niagara Falls down her cheeks as she shouted back

"Sister, don't you dare do this!" the doctor told her, how could she think she has ever done anything wrong?

"Why not? No one will miss me by the time my body goes cold! My mother was the only person who loved me as a child, she died my father is a raging alcoholic who I doubt remembers me, the order will not miss me, I was just some random person, and the nurses will get over me and you..." She screamed back and then came to an abrupt stop. She started to sob again and the knife from out of her hand.

"I will miss you and grieve for you till I die." he stated quietly and stepped forward.

"I am sorry, I am so so sorry!" she fell into his arms crying and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Shh, you have done nothing wrong! Sister, I would miss you most of all, because in love you." he placed lots of small kiss on her forehead and wimple. It was then he realised what he said and what he was doing. "I am sorry, that was out of turn."

"Don't be sorry, please. I love you too." she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, against his jumper, "I have loved you for months now, but I doubted you could ever love me, why do you love me? I am just some stupid girl who knows nothing!"

"I have loved you for longer than I first imagined, and I love you because you are brave, compassionate, beautiful, you love Tim, and you are the best midwife at Nonnatus house, and I never want to hear you call yourself 'stupid' again, do you hear me, you are the complete opposite!"

They just stood there, in each other's embrace, relishing in the feel and smell of the other person.

"Doctor Turn-" the Sister started

"Patrick. Please call me Patrick"

"Patrick, " she smiled a little at using his name, "Do you really mean that? You are not just saying it?"

"I mean every word." he stated plainly, kissing her on the head, "are you certain you love me?"

"I have never been more certain." She pulled back slightly, bringing her hand to her head and pulled her wimple and cap off. She smiled "And my name is Shelagh."


	11. Tim’s anniversary present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have pushed Angela’s adoption date up around a month

"Fred?" Timothy asked cautiously, his mum was with Sister Julienne and he asked to come along after school, but he stayed downstairs wanting to talk to Fred privetly.

"Yes Tim?" Fred turned around to face the young boy.

"Um, well next week, the 28th, it is um, well, an anniversary of sorts for my mum and dad and I was wondering if you could help me sort out a present?" Timothy asked nervously

"Of course, 'ow can I 'elp?" Fred cheerfully asked. Timothy then explained his plan.

"I'll 'elp if I can. I will clear it with your mum, but I will get you to come with me on Saturday, I will make up an excuse and bring what you need, where will be be going?" Fred happily obliged making an excuse in his head

"Could you drive to the sana- sanatorium mum stayed in when she had tb?" He looked up to see Fred's puzzled expression, "I will direct the rest of the way, oh mums coming I will explain then, thanks Fred!" He added quickly hearing his mum walk down the staircase

"Hello Fred! How are you?" Shelagh smiled up at the handyman

"Very good Mrs Turner, thanks for askin' , I was wondering, could I borrow Timothy 'ere on Saturday? He says he will 'elp me find a place to take the Cubs" he made up

"Of course, I don't mind! I am sure his father won't and it will be nice for him!" Shelagh smiled, "Now Tim we have to be heading off, bye Fred!"

"Bye Mrs Turner, Timothy." He tipped his cap and as the two turned around, he and Timothy shared a cheeky wink.

"Fred, I thought we knew where we were taking the cubs?" Patsy asked with raised eyebrows

"Oh no, I am doing a favour for Tim, 'elping 'im out with something for his mum and dad, don't tell them that though, gonna be a surprise!" He answered, laughed and walked off, leaving Patsy momentarily baffled, the she laughed and walked off in the opposite dirrection shaking her head, smiling.

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Saturday could not come quick enough for Timothy, he stuffed his breakfast down, grabbed his previously packed bag, and headed for Nonnatus.

He got to Nonnatus is no time, seeing Fred at his van, he sped up and got in the van.

"'Ello young man, ready? Got what ya need?" Fred asked laughing

"Yep!" Tim answered. It was four days till Wednesday, four days till the 28th of October, four days till the first anniversary of finding his mum on the Misty road.

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After a morning of directions of Timothy and a few wrong turns (blamed on Fred) the van arrived at the deserted road.

"Here we are!" Timothy exclaimed, Fred knew better then to ask why here, he had been trying to get it out of the young boy throughout their journey, ending up no where.

"Right then, you do what you need to do, I do what I need to do, right lad?" Fred said getting out the drivers seat

"Absolutely!" Timothy said, getting out the car to sit in front the van, getting his supplies out, he was about to start when Fred interrupted

"Do ya wanna sit on the bonnet?" Fred asked

"That would be smashing! I will get the perfect view then! Timothy said, placing his bag on the bonnet and Fred lifted him up.

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About three hours, six drafts, one fall (not from the boy sitting on the bonnet) Timothy finished his masterpiece was complete.

"Fred! I am done!" Timothy said proudly, sliding off the car and show ing Fred his work.

"Cor, Blimey Tim! That certainly is top notch!" Fred exclaimed

"Thanks Fred!" Little did Fred know, there was more to be done to this landscape picture of Tim's.

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Four days later, on the 28th of October 1959, Timothy Turner got up before his parents. He headed down the stairs, with his immaculately wrapped present, and began to set his 'display' up. He placed the gift leaning against the wall, and a homemade card sat in frount of that. Timothy started to make some bacon, eggs and toast. He turned the kettle on, plated up the meal, and as he placed the cups of tea on the table, he heard a noise coming from upstairs, perfect timing he thought. He ran to the stairs and blocked his mum from coming any further.

"Morning Tim! Why are you..." she laughed

"You can't come till dad's here." He said quickly, then added, "Oh, and morning!" He smiled

Shelagh turned around and shouted, Patrick! Hurry up! You can do what you need to later, Tim needs us both! She shouted/laughed up the stairs.

About a minute later, with both his parents at the bottom of the stairs, he let them through to the kitchen hatch

"Happy anniversary!" Timothy exclaimed

"Oh Tim!" his mum wrapped him in a tight squeeze and his dad ruffled his hair and smiled, as Tim stepped back he gave the present to his mum who unwrapped it carefully with her husband behind her.

She took the canvas out of the paper and gaped at the picture before her.

Timothy has painted the backround of the misty road, painted Shelagh in the same clothes from that day a year ago with suitcases in hand with the frount of Patrick's car.

He painted his point of view of the scene on the misty road from the day Sister Bernadette became Shelagh


	12. Angry or not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick 100 word challenge but I hope you like it all the same!

"Mrs Turner, could you step into my office please?" Patrick's voice was cold, unwelcoming and distant, Shelagh had never heard his voice in such a manner before and was scared she had done something wrong

She stepped in his office, closed the door and Patrick strood over to her. Before Shelagh could say or do anything, he bent down and kissed her. Deep and Passionately. To say she was surprised would be an understatement.

Patrick then broke away, opened the door and left leaving Shelagh looking highly confused, eyes open wide and mouth hanging open.

Patrick just smirked walking away.


	13. Girdle and ashes

"What do you think you're wearing?!"

Shelagh spun around at the sound of her husband's voice, "I uh, um,"

"What is this?"

Shelagh had been getting dressed as Patrick went to the bathroom, she was getting her girdle on when Patrick had walked back in.

Shelagh found her confidence again, "My girdle." she stated plainly as she tried to reach for the girdle but Patrick moved it away, "Please give it back!"

"Why are you wearing this, this, abomination" he frowned at her holding the garment high above his head."

"To flatten these curves and push the extra skin I gained back. Oh do not look at me like that Patrick, without it I look far less beau-" Patrick went from giving a look of annoyance to ducking swiftly down to capture his wife's lips in his own.

"I would not recommend finishing that sentence. There is no way on earth you could ever not be beautiful, " he gently stroked her cheek, then his hand fell down to touch her abdomen, "and this repugnant piece of damn rubbish will not hide your gorgeous curves that held our child." he could tell she was starting to believe him but needed more encouragement, "Shelagh listen to me. You do not need this torture girdle to do anything to your amazing body, I love you so much, Shelagh."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, this is going in the bin and you are not going to buy another one, if I find another one, I will burn it and eat the ashes"

"You will eat the ashes?!" Sheath burst into hysterical laughter, "I must say I have never heard that before!" she continued laughing so hard she was struggling for air

"Yes." he stated plainly, stifling laughter, he headed out the bedroom door and down to the bin, returning minutes later to find Shelagh fully dressed.

"Done. No girdle." Shelagh said smirking Patrick step towards her and lifted her blouse to find her slip, so he pulled her blouse back down, lifted her up and laid her down on the bed

"Patrick, what are you doing?" she giggled. He just ignored her and slid his hands up her skirt and slip to find skin, no girdle.

"Someone listened!" he grinned, took his hands away and after a quick kiss, left her.

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Later at breakfast, Timothy asked (jokingly) if he could buy a bottle of beer as a late Christmas present, Patrick answered,

"No! If you do I will burn it and eat the ashes!" that just caused Shelagh to burst out laughing, taking Teddy out the room muttering repeatedly, "Eat the ashes!".


	14. Parental stories

"Shelagh?" Patrick asked hesitantly, Timothy was upstairs and Shelagh laying next to him, head lay in his lap, with his arm securely around her on the golden couch.

"Yes, Patrick?" Shelagh smiled up at him, gently Stroking the arm wrapped around her chest

"Can I ask you something, we'll personal?" he asked worried about her reaction

Shelagh's eyebrows furrowed, "Sure..."

Patrick took a deep breath, "Can I ask about your childhood, like your parents?" Shelagh's eyes dropped as she sat up, "I'm sorry, I should not have asked I-" he stopped when Shelagh snuggled closer to him.

Shelagh sighed. This was a topic she did not like to talk about. She thought about lying for a split second before realising she could never lie to Patrick. She took a breath.

"I will tell you if you promise not to interrupt till I am done, ok?" Patrick nodded.

"I can not really remember life till I was around seven, I was a fast learner and even then I was introverted. Around a month before my eighth birthday, my mother got sick, cancer. My mother and me were close, she was my help with homework my friend and my playmate. When she got sick, my father threw himself into his work so I had to look after my mum, when I was not at school. She died just after my tenth birthday. My Father had a lot of money, and when my mother died he gave up work and drank. He drank all day, every day. He also brought women from back street café's in and took them on the couch. I heard it all. I got even more shy and introverted, I had always been bullied for wearing glasses but it got worse when my mum died. I passed my eleven plus into Grammer school where we worked hard everyday except the last day before we broke up for Christmas, Mother's Day and Father's Day. We did art and what not on them days, but if your parents died or your family did not celebrate them, you got to sign up not to join in. I did it for Mother's Day, obviously and Father's Day because I could not deal with what he would do."

She paused and looked up at Patrick's face urging her to continue.

"My father turned to drink. He drunk all the time, except Sunday morning where he was hungover when I was at church and he would somehow remember to leave me out some money to last the week, and ever since my mum got ill I used as little money as possible so I could save to go to nursing school. When I came home from school, he would either ignor me or drag me over and be, innapropriate to me. When I was fifteen he decided to give me the talk by that time I knew I wanted to be a nurse and a midwife for about seven years so I already knew everything but he pulled his, you know, down and pulled me tight towards him and held me tightly and slurred things like It hurts when it happens, I should not be plusurable only to the men, and his favourite but no one will ever like you to do it to you."

Shelagh started to tear up

"I had quite a bit of money and I came down to London and you know what happened after."

Patrick looked at her and gently wiped the tears from her eyes and then caressed her cheek. "Oh my darling, I am sorry I asked!" He pulled her towards him and she cried softly into his jumper.

"Don't be. You would know at some point.!" She mumbled.

The two hugged each other all night till Patrick had to take her back to her boarding house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is my headcanon on Shelagh’s parents... so yeah!


	15. Prayer list

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sister Julienne is a little OOC in this but I hope you like it all the same.
> 
> This is dedicated to the hatred of Sister Ursula

Sister Bernadette always loved the Compline. Even after giving up her vows, Shelagh joined in occasionally. That is why tonight, two days after being released from hospital, Shelagh is knocking on the Nonnatus door. Trixie opened it and allowed her in.

Shelagh headed to the chapel, passing what was Sister Julienne's office, and is know Sister Ursula's. Oh, I could never of been obedient to her. When she heard a conversation going on between two women.

"I would like to add the Turner's to the prayer list tonight." Sister Julienne said, Shelagh smiled, her mentor for so many years is always so considerate and always thinking about her

Her smile then turned into a frown. "The Turner's? You always say the Turner's! I do not think they need any other prayers, besides did Mrs Turner not turn-" Sister Ursula's cold voice filled the room, I thought these types of comments were behind me!

"If you are going to say something disrespectful of Shelagh I am going to stop you there." Sister Julienne replied, her voice turning cold

"Fine, but she not the other Turner's will go on our prayer list so you will have to pray for them yourself." Sister Ursula cut back, leaving the room towards the chapel.

Shelagh walked away. After hearing that she could not bare to be in the same room as her, let alone pray with her. Sister Julienne must of saw her retreating figure as she shouted down towards her, but Shelagh just carried on walking, wiping her eyes.

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She arrived back at the Turner household with Patrick and Timothy reading separately on the sofa, Angela in bed. She walked in, deposited her things to sort out once she splashed cold water in her face.

"Shalegh what is it?" Patrick asked at her strange behaviour.

"Nothing we did not already know!" Shelagh supplied, though at his quizzical look she added, "Sister Ursula hates me, that's all, and we already knew that!"

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Little did Shelagh know, the next morning, Sister Julienne telephoned the mother house to tell Mother Jesu-Emmanuel about last nights events. That was also the day that little Lin started to move again.

And Sister Ursula left.

And Shelagh did not think she was missed by anybody.


	16. Cycle pain

Shelagh lay in bed, in the fetal position with no covers on with a hot water bottle on her stomach. In August.

"Oh Patrick, please come home!" she whispered to herself, her husband was out on a call and all she wants right now is him.

Almost as if by coincidence, she heard her husband come up the stairs. He always tries to be as silent as possible, but there was a creaky step he always stood on. He came into the room.

"Hello Patrick, how was it?" she asked as usual

"Hello darling, " he bent down in front of her and caressed her cheek and hair, "Textbook forceps birth, but more importantly, what is wrong with you?" he asked her lovingly

"My cycle." she stated plainly.

"Oh darling, you must be so hot!"

"I just need you now."

Patrick then took his clothes off, got into his pyjamas and the he lay down in bed. Shelgh then chucked her hot water bottle to the side and snuggled up close to her husband and fell into a peaceful sleep, wrapped in the walm embrace of her beloved Patrick who, after watching her peacefully for a few minutes, fell asleep himself.


	17. News for Tim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative to Canon on how Tim found out about Teddy!

Shelagh had told her husband the day before. She had slept beautifully wrapped in her husbands arms, his hand stroking her abdomen. That was until he got called out at half six in the morning. Shelagh stayed in bed for another half an hour till she heard a noise from downstairs. She slowly got out of bed, put her glasses and slippers on and wrapped herself in her dressing gown. She looked into Angela's room to find her still fast asleep.

Shelagh padded down the stairs and to find Timothy,

"Morning Mum, made you a cup of tea-" Timothy said cheerfully till his mum dashed away into the bathroom. He ran after her and stood outside "Mum? Mum, you alright?" He asked worryingly through the door.

All Timothy could here was a muffled 'I'm fine' and the sounds of vomiting.

After a while, his step-mum emerged from the bathroom. Tim just stared at her extremely worried. All he could think about was the times his mum constantly threw up, he know realised it was a symptom of cancer. He also knows there is thousands of reasons she could be vomiting but Timothy panicked.

"I guess I should tell huh?" She smiled at him,

"Mum? What's wrong, you're scaring me!" Timothy was highly confused at the smile that was on his mother's face,

"Well I," Shelagh's hands dropped down to her stomach and Timothy's face lit up,

"But, it isn't poss- how- but-" he stammered and the flew his arms around his mum and he cried into her shoulder, drenching her dressing gown.

This was the day Timothy found out he was going to be an older brother again.


	18. Four by who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is how Barbara, Patsy and Sister Winifred found out about a certain somebodies past...
> 
> Definitely not the person this series of one-shots is based about, what are you talking about? ;)

The Turners were at the Nonnatus dining table, along with Sisters Julienne, Winifred and Monica-Joan, with Nurses Mount, Franklin and Gilbert.

"I must say Barbra, 3 in one day is a lot!" Patsy congratulated again,

"Thank you." The recipient blushed.

"Well done Sister Monica-Joan and Mrs Turner as well!" Sister Winifred smiled at the two.

"Ten in one day is quite a lot! Surely that is a recorded?" Dr Turner asked,

"Second highest since the war! In June 1957 there was 11 births!" Barbara exclaimed.

"Oh I remember that day!" Sister Julienne smiled, she also spotted a slight blush appear on Shelagh's cheeks who obviously remembered said day.

"If I remember correctly: Trixie and two nurses called Miller and Juckly delivered one each." Barbara started,

"Nurse Miller is now Sister Mary Cynthia," Trixie chimed in, "meanwhile Nurse Juckly has moved to Kent" She countined, muttering 'thank goodness' under her breath.

"Sister Julienne and Evangelina delivered two each," Barbara countined,

"I delivered twins, I think, Sister Evangelina the same." Sister Julienne recalled, inwardly chuckling at the blush growing deeper on Shelagh's face,

"And surprisingly of all, someone by the name of Sister Bernadette delivered four babies! Imagine four! How she did it I could never know!" Barbara exclaimed

Trixie and Patrick smirked at Shelagh, Sister Julienne stifled a laugh, "Adrenaline, tea and prayers." Shelagh answered, gaining quizzical looks of the newer additions to the house.

"What do you mean?" Patsy asked. Sister Julienne, Trixie, Patrick and even Timothy all burst out laughing.

"I was out from six till nine thirty for Mrs Hughes fifth baby, ten till one for Mrs Getwel second baby, two till seven for Mrs Ashwells first baby and half seven till quarter to midnight for Mrs kite first baby. I had slept for about two hours the night prior and did not sleep again till after Complaine the night after." Shelagh told the table.

"Wait, wait, wait! You were a nun?!" Barbara half shouted

"Yes." Shelagh joined in the laughter of the colleagues who knew Sister Bernadette,.

"What?!" Patsy and Sister Winifred exclaimed, jaws hitting the floor,

"Right she was! Sister Julienne's right hand!" Fred walked past to fix a wall.

"But? Dr Turner-" Barbara started

"In 1958 I found out I had TB. I left to go to a sanatorium, I shall not go into the details but I came out the sanatorium as Shelagh Mannion. I married about six months later."

"Five months, two weeks and three days." Patrick added,

"Well I never!" Barbara exclaimed

"Life certainly has changed. Also, never do what I did and tend to so many deliveries with hardly any sleep, I still had rounds and clinic the day after!" Shelagh added, causing everyone to laugh.


	19. Believing beauty

Shelagh could hardly believe this was happening. She had answered questions to a now sleeping Timothy, sat next to Dr Turner- no Patrick, the person who she loved more then life itself.

"You're beautiful." Patrick told her lovingly

"Uh, thank you." Shereplied unconvinced. She stole a quick glance at him before brushing her hand over her hair behind her ear and not looking back at him.

"Shelagh, I mean it. Even in your habit and wimple I thought you where the most beautiful person in Earth!" He the stoke a look at her to see her looking at her feet.

She does not remember her mother complimenting her, it was not because she was horrible, just Shelagh could not remember, he father was a drunk alcoholic who beat her often, she had always been bullied for something- her height, glasses, having a dead mother, anything about her really- she had friends at school or as a nurse trainee and the doctors and other trainees were rude also. As Sister Bernadette, vanity was a sin. Shelagh has never even thought herself in anyway pretty. How someone so handsome, kind and amazing could love her was beyond her.

"Thank you Patrick, you are quite handsome yourself!" She smiled and Patrick took his hand off the gear stick and took her hand. He could tell she still did not believe him and he was not letting her out of his car till she believed him.

Patrick pulled the car to a stop and turned to her, "Shelagh. To me you are an Angel from heaven, you are the best thing that has happened to me. Shelagh I love you and you are so beautiful."

That one Proclamation made Shelagh believe, for the first time in her life, that someone thought her beautiful, and the fact that it was the love of her life, she finally felt beautiful herself.

Oh how she loved that man!


	20. Jane’s always there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish Jane was there more. I miss her. I hope her and Mrs B are friends (headcanon of mine- based on a Tumblr pic)

Sister Bernadette walked slowly into the dining room Recently, she would go to the chapel and pray for guidance in her spare time, to clear her mind if the thoughts that plagued her. Alas, Jenny was in there seeking guidance of her own. Sister Bernadette knew that Sister Julienne was attending paperwork and everyone else other then Jane was out on rounds. Sister Bernadette admires Jane, from her being so small and meek when she first arrived to growing braver and friendlier by the day. She also knew that Jane could read when people wanted a chat and when they need silence and that was perfect right now.

Sister Bernadette sat down with a cup of tea in hand. After a small 'hello', Jane left her be. Sister Bernadette took her glasses off to rub her eyes. She had been doing a lot of that lately, as if it would help get a certain somebody's face out of her mind. The kind eyes, the goofy smile, the strong hands and that unruly hair that she would love to run her fingers through...

Before she could stop herself, a sound that was a mix of a sob, a sigh and an 'Aggh' escaped her lips.

"Sister? Are you alright?" Jane asked, brow furrowed

"Yes sorry I-" she started, her eyes darting around the room, then she caught sight of a letter in Jane's pocket from the Reverend Applebee-Thornton, which, in another emotional outburst, gave another cry, and then buried her hands in her face, "I'm sorry you don't need to see my like this!"

Jane was not the best with emotions, but knew Sister Bernadette just needed a cry, so she silently stood up and sat next to her, placing a hand in the other women's knee. Sister Bernadette eventually calmed down, smiled and thanked Jane for being there.

Just as she turned to leave, she added, "Please could you not tell anyone about this? I do not want anyone to worry." And as Jane nodded, half walked, half ran to her cell before everyone arrived home for lunch.

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Later in the year, before she left to get Nurse training, Jane stopped off at Dr Turner's house to say goodbye to Shelagh. Ever since becoming Shelagh, she had hid from Nonnatus but Jane still wanted to say goodbye because she liked Sister Bernadette and trusted her.

Jane left happy seeing her friend one final time, and for the good luck and thanks she received with it.

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Around a year later, Jane was visiting Nonnatus, when she realised that, although the Turners looked to be enjoying themselves, Shelagh looked reserved and ate less the Jane did when she first arrived at Nonnatus. Others also noticed

"Shelagh, are you feeling well? You are not eating much!" Trixie commented. Jane notice the blush rise in Shelagh's cheeks and the panicked expression on her husbands face, and the look of sympathy on Sister Julienne's.

"I am perfectly fine thank you. Mrs B has made a lovely meal I am just not hungry." She answered.

"Well to cheer you up, let's tell the malt loaf story!" Trixie grinned

"Trixie! Oh go on, you tell it!" Shelagh said with wide eyes

"Well. Sister Evangelina came in telling us no gas and air for home deliveries. As you can imagine we where all in shock- then she added that the Doctor-" Trixie began

"Oh lord it's this story!" Sister Evangelina huffed as Shelagh buried her head in her hands.

"Yes this story. Now, Sister Evangelina said that the doctor looked disheveled in his office. Then Cynthia mentioned how a button has come off Doctors clinal coat and how you had no one to sow it on for you." Trixie explained. Jane noticed how her eyes where on the couple even if her face was not facing them. Jane also noticed how the doctor looked like he knew what she was going to say next and how it still made him feel guilty. However, due to Shelagh stifling a laugh and her head still being in her hands, she knows she had not told this story before.

"I then went on to say how unkempt and untidy you and Timothy looked." She grinned at Shelagh, and everyone looked followed Trixies eyes to her. Cynthia and Sisters Julienne and Evangelina were already stifling laughter as they obviously knew the outcome. Dr Turner looked a little dishearted at how people thought Timothy looked rough, the doctor obviously tried and felt guilty about that.

"Shelagh, what did you say next, as a nun?" Trixie laughed

"Really Trixie I can not believe you. I said: Speak more respectfully of Doctor, please. And I'll thank you to hand me the malt loaf." Shelagh told the table in a meek voice, not very different from her own, Jane thought.

Everyone at the table stared at her and then burst into laughter.

"I'm sorry what?!" Sister Winifred and Patsy said at the same time.

"I remember Trixie telling me and Chummy about this! My Shelagh, that was not what I thought you said, that was bolder!"

After all the merriments has died down, Jane took Shelagh outside for a chat, where the talked an awful lot.

Jane's plan worked though. Shelagh went inside not feeling embarrassed from the tale and not feeling sad from whatever ailed her.


	21. Biggest fear

While Timothy was at his grandmother's house, Patrick and Shelagh had a quiet dinner together, talking a little about random things- the upcoming wedding, Patrick's patients and Shelagh's day out with the Nonnatus nurses- but mainly the couple spoke through their eyes, their eyes conveying messages of love to the other person. Now the two were sat on the sofa, Shelagh wrapped up in Patrick's strong embrace.

"Patrick?" Shelagh asked. She had had a question on her mind all day and she realised she had best ask it now when it was just them two together silently, in a perfect position to answer personal questions, rather than she unceremoniously blurt it out.

"Yes?" Patrick asked lovingly, playing with her soft, golden hair that he had started to touch at all opportunities.

"What is your greatest fear?" She asked, playing with a loose thread on her fiancée's sleeve.

Patrick tensed up, "Do you really want to hear that?" he saw her nod, then he took a deep breath, "Mirrors and you." he stated plainly

Now it was Shelagh's turn to tense up, anxiety-filled her, is she not enough? does he does not love her? What has she done? Why is she so idiotic that she believed the amazingness that is Patrick would like the mess that is herself? "Me?" she asked meekly.

"Not you, you and mirrors. I am terrified you will look in the mirror and see what I see, and realise you deserve so much more than me." he told her, Shelagh twisted around with wet eyes, Patrick stared deeply into her eyes so lovingly, that she thought she would melt.

"You don't mean that-" Shelagh started.

"I do, that is my biggest fear. Can I ask yours?"

"That you will leave me," she answered, barely above a whisper.

"Oh my darling, I'll never leave you." he placed kisses around her head and held her tightly against him till she fell asleep and he did not have the heart to wake her to take her to her boarding house.


	22. Sedition truth

Patrick had been to the dentist, Sister Evangelina had just left the Turners at there house with "Good luck Shelagh, you'll need it!" and a roll of the eyes.

"Shelagh, I wove you, you're so beauful I wove the way you're so sweet and brave and kind. I wove how your nose an eyes crinkles when wu laugh. I wuv evewything about you, you are angel from heaven!" He sllured, still intoxicated from the drugs from the dentist.

"Oh you silly, silly man! I love you too, and if this is the result, then I shall take you to the dentist all the time!" She placed a quick kiss on his head and, carried- no dragged- her husband up to bed.

The next morning, Patrick woke up just after Shelagh, "Wuv you Patrick!" She giggled

"I did say the truth, then! That was no dream then?" He smiled.

"No dream!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 150 words but I hope you enjoyed!


	23. Biscuit fight

Dinner had been eat, the table cleared and the dishes washed. Well, it did take a while to wash. Timothy has gone upstairs to finish the homework he was in the middle of, and Patrick had offered to help Shelagh do the dishes, but the two ended up caressing each other's lips with there own, Shelagh pushed against the sink. The couple had done this for over ten minutes, occasionally breaking when oxygen was needed. However the two countined washing and drying the dishes when a loud bang cane from upstairs.

Now though, Patrick sat on the sofa, reading the Lancet but not really paying it much attention as Shelagh curled up next to him, resting her head on his chest, his heart beating in her ear. A soft hum of comfort escaped her lips.

"Shelagh?" He asked closing the lancet and placing it on the sofa's arm.

"Mm" she opened her eyes, expectingly.

"Do we have any biscuits left?"

Shelagh sat up staring at him with raised eyebrows, "Pardon? Biscuits?" She asked trying to sound serious, stifling a laugh.

"Yes, Biscuits. Do we have any?" He asked smiling at her rolling eyes.

"Yes. To be honest I was hoping for it myself." she sighed sitting back.

"Well, if you have not ate it, I asked for it!" He smiled down at her.

"Well, it depends who gets there first!" she giggled, running towards the biscuit tin, laughing harder by Patricks protests.

"Shelagh! I am told old to beat you!" he protested half-heartedly.

Patrick got behind her and flew his arms around her waist. She giggled, as Patrick placed a slobary kiss on her neck. However, still intent on teasing him, she opened the biscuit tin to find it empty. Patrick looked into the box and they both sighed.

"Timothy!" the both shouted up the stairs in unison.

The young boy walked down the stairs, a look of guilt upon his features, "Yes?" he asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Can you explain this?" Sheath asked, trying desperately to hide the smile on her face, showing her step-son the empty tin.

"I, I don't know what you are talking about!" he lied.

"The crumbs on your face say otherwise, " Patrick smiled.

"Fine, yes I had the last one, are you going to punish me?" he asked cheekily, rolling his eyes.

The two adults looked at each other, smiled and Shelagh answered with, "No, go on up. You resolved our argument for us!" she smiled at his retreating form.

"Well then, what can I eat now?" Patrick asked with a glem in his eye.

Shelagh put the biscuit tin down. Her hands cupped his face, - lightly stroking his cheeks - then she crashed her lips to his. She glided her tongue over his lips, he gladly bade her entry, she played with his tongue for a bit then she sucked his top lip, causing him to moan against her lips.

"That will have to do till I have some chocolates I thought we could eat later" she paced a finger over her husbands lips as he started to protest, "Once Tim goes to bed as I do not thing he would appreciate mushy stuff so then we can. Anyway I have other ideas for a dessert!" and with a cheeky wink, Shelagh left the room to settle on the sofa once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smutty then usual but not very much 😂


	24. Small cut reflections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is in big chunks, but that is how I wrote rants x

I wake up, well, I stopped tossing and turning, I have hardly slept since that day at the summer fair. I look at that cut on my hand, the cut that tortures my insides.

I unwillingly think back to all the sinful desires that have played me. I think of the time I took my wimple and glasses off when the nurses went dancing, the split second of longing and wondering at Chummy's wedding, the time at Christmas when I told him how children are resilient and the way he ran into the scouts Christmas Pantomime, the look of joy on Timothy's face and the warm, large smile on his face as he took a seat. I thought back to when I got my new glasses, and my secret hope that he would notice- which he did, he almost tripped over when he saw them and I noticed him looking once or twice during clinic. I had a pang of regret at the thought that I caused him to be so dishevelled with the gas and air, then I winced at the memory of defending him to the nurses, thankful nobody has brought it up again, I think back to the memory of Chummy leaving and the fleeting thought of leaving my life for a new calling, but I soon told myself off for that. I think of offering him tea when he was doing the Kelly notes and I impulsively said that stupid comment about wishing faith made a difference, I then ran off. The growing voice in my head regretted not taking his offer to have tea, but I also am relieved but I just do not know how to feel. The Carter birth is etched in my mind, we all knew it was going to be a handful, but when I had performed the external version, Meg flew into the room and before any of us could register what was happening, she drew him off of her sister, which caused me to jump up and pull her off of him. She slapped me. It was not the first time I had been attacked during or after a birth, and I quickly got back to Maeve, I could tell his anger was bubbling and he was controlling his temper. I don't know why I physically defended him! The adrenaline? The growing voice in my head? My lo- no. Maybe. I don't know! Then we shared a cigarette and I told him more about myself and I loved the feeling of knowing that I placed my lips where his were just placed. I think about when Trixie was talking to me about Jane not having been kissed, that just made more dreams of him come. I wake up in a cold sweat thinking about things that break my vow of chastity. Nonnatus always talks about Sister Evangelina matchmaking Chummy and Peter,and I think about matchmaking Jane and the Reverend Applebee-Thornton, I more then once during his stay wishes to work with him, but to no avail, whether that is good or not I am unsure. I tried talking to Sister Julienne but Sister Monica Joan's fake heart attack got in the way, then Sister Monica Joan mentioned that I spent a lot of time in prayer and I was always sad, if only she knew. That was after both me listening to the nurses, wishing away my habit to join them and locking my eyes with him over the spirt lamps, my imagination has made up many inappropriate scenarios of what would of happened if Timothy has not ran in. I felt as though he could see me, not Sister Bernadette, the women underneath, as if he could see my soul.

Then it was the day of the summer fair.

During the Cubs performance, my eyes drifted to him. He looked so carefree and happy and Timothy although hating being Maid Marion, was happy his dad was there. Then he got pulled away to Nora Harding's 'miscarriage' and Timothy's face dropped and his performance was not as good, he lost his enthusiasm. The play ended, the three-legged race was about to begin and he had not returned so I offered to do the race with Timothy instead. We got into our place as the race was about to begin. The horn went off and we soon found rhythm, we had overtaken the other partners when his voice grew loud as he watched us. Me and Timothy won, and fell. He told his son to stay put till we were untied and- ever the gentleman, though I think it was due to nervousness- he let me undo the knot. Timothy ran off as he handed me my glasses and observed that my hand was cut, I made a stupid joke about not needing amputation, and walked to the parish hall kitchen. I was running my hand under cold water, half wanting him to follow me and half not. He had followed. He asked if he would like him to have a look and I said yes. We both knew it was a small cut and I could easily deal with it, and in hindsight I should of said that but I could not. He held me small left hand in both of his big, strong, dry hands he gentle stroked over the slightly damp wound (as I do now, like I do every other time I think of his thumb lightly grazing my palm) and he drew it closer to his face...

He kissed it.

I pulled away and turned around. We spoke about forgiveness and unforgiving, I asked who decided what is forgiving and not and he told me that I knew better then him, and I told him that I was turning my back on him because of my vows not him, he respected that and turned away. I remember is so clearly, but in a blur.

I want the scar to disappear, but I do not exactly help that to happen, I have rubbed soap and alcohol into it as if that could wash all my sins away. Every time I look at it or someone asked about it, I see his face and change the subject as quick as I can. I can still feel his warm lips on my skin a week later.

I get dressed, and hold my bible open on my lap. I tried to read the words, but everything merged together, so end up staring into space, trying and failing to get rid of his face from my head. Then there was a knock on the door.

I opened it and followed Sister Julienne to Lauds. I sang and prayed with my sisters, but the words just filtered through me and I heard his laugh and saw his face. After Lauds Sister Julienne pulled me aside.

"Sister, could you cover appointments for me this morning, we also have a meeting with the board of health this morning about getting an TB van?" She asked with a smile.

I plaster a fake smile on my face, "Of course Sister, who is we?" I feared the answer.

My fears where true, "Dr Turner".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really big paragraphs but I hope you like it anyway!


	25. Ties and girl talk

Barbara, Trixie and Shelagh has helped out at Cubs with making fire's and treating the burns that was caused. Phyllis had already left and the three other nurses were waiting (Barbara and Trixie sat at the table, Shelagh lent against the wall) for their respective man to pick them up. Trixie had brought the conversation to Tom, Patrick and Christopher.

"So Barbra, what is Tom's worst quality?" Trixie asked turning to the brunette.

"I have no idea! I really don't know his 'worst quality is' to me he is perfect!" Barbra response shyly.

"Tosh! But as you obviously do not want to share, Shelagh? What does the ex nun not like about her dishy doctor? Apart from his appalling dress sense that is!" Trixie winked and Shelagh rolled her eyes.

"I dare say he is dressing better now! I get his clothes now! But your right, his jumpers at the start of our marriage were, not the best but, I have no complaints!" Shelagh blushed.

"Boring! Anyway Barbra is lucky, Tom does not wear ties, it is a pain for them!" In that moment the tree men arrived, Tom walked around the left of the table towards Barbra, Christopher around the right towards Trixie and Patrick stayed at the door way. Trixie countined, "Maybe we should just advise our men not to wear ties to work, saves them the embarrassment of trying to find them once we have had our way with them!" Trixie winked at Shelagh who rolled her eyes.

"Very true, but if Patrick did not wear ties I would not be able to do this." And Shelagh grabed onto Patrick's tie and pulled him into an extremely passionate kiss, especially for the audience. "Come on darling, Angela told me she really wanted to talk to both of us." Shelagh lied and with that Shelagh pulled her husband away from the shocked faces of Barbra, Tom and Christopher and the grinning and Squealing Trixie.

Shelagh pulled her husband up to the hatch in the window. "Oh, and Trixie, remember when the boldest thing I done was get new glasses!" And with a wink, Shelagh left dragging her highly amused husband away by the hand.

In the kitchen, Trixie was laughing so hard she has to grab hold of the table leg to stop falling of the chair. Christopher rubbed circles on her back, and along with the other two, a highly confused and slightly amused looks on there face, "I will explain another day," Trixie got out between hiccups once the laughing had subsided. Trixie's grin did not leave her face all day and next clinc, Trixie did not let that evening slide, and constantly pestered the Turner women with it.

Meanwhile, as Shelagh and Patrick walked towards the car, they both burst out laughing, "Care to explain?" Patrick smirked at her.

"Well, after helping out, myself, Barbara and Trixie were waiting for you three when Trixie asked about worst quality's in our partners. We ended up talking about ties and you know the rest!" Shelagh winked at her husband- she decided against giving him the details as that was between the girls.

"Well I will not wear a tie tonight if you want? Maybe nothing else as well?" Patrick suggested.

"Well, as the children are at Granny Parker's, I think you should only wear a tie!"


	26. Are you angry or pranking me?

"BEATRIX FRANKLIN" Shelagh's voice pierced through the hall to the dining room where all Nonnatus nurses were gathered eating lunch. Shelagh stalked into the room, hands on hips glaring at the blond nurse.

Sister Evangelina, Nurse Gilbert and Sister Winifred stared open mouthed at Shelagh, Sister Julienne had never looked more shocked in her life at her unofficial daughter. Patsy was stifling laughter at Trixie, who looked terrified at the Scot.

"Mrs Turner? What is going on?" Nurse Crane asked, a look of puzzlement stoned into her face.

"Trixie. Follow. Me. Now." Shelagh said between gritted teeth. Trixie obidently followed the Scot out.

"Why did you leave this letter on my desk? Anybody could of seen it!" Shelagh's anger has a hint of sadness and... was that fear?

"Shelagh, I am sorry it was just a joke! I do not get why you are so angry!" Trixie tried to plead.

"Well, it would of been funny if it was not on show!" Shelagh shoved the letter into Trixie's hand, said nurse did not remember leaving it in plain view but kept quiet, "Read that and imagine that was you and Tom!" Trixie began reading.

Shelagh,

So, I though I might wright a letter to you telling you a fact:

We all know what you do during your lunch break. If the lock door is not sogn enough then perhaps the sound of paper, clothes and other objects fall to the floor does! So how good of a lover is your fishy doctor that brought you away from the habit, hmm?

Just thought to let you know!

Love from,

Your bridesmaid,

Trixie Franklin.

"I am sorry I left that on your desk, I did not think I did, I could of sworn I left it in a drawer! Anyway I am so so sorry! I am sorry Shelagh." Trixie was extremely ashamed and now saw it from Shelagh's point of view.

Shelagh just burst out laughing. "Oh I got you! You did leave it in my desk, this was a payback for the time at clinic where you made me believe that my husband was cheating on me, you scared me so bad, it took my ten minutes to realise that it was your handwriting! Now I decided to humiliate you in frount of all the other staff! So according to them I hate you right now and I am keeping this up, so thank you for this!" Shelagh pulled another letter out of her pocket, shoved it in Trixie's right hand, and dragged her into the dining room with a michevious glint in her eye.

Once the two were back in the dining room, Shelagh spat goodbye at a bewildered and amused Trixie. "Read it." She added before storming out.

Trixie sat and opened the note:

"Jenny was important then you, she got Acting Sister. Also, can you call Timothy and Dr Turner unkept now?"

Trixie has never blushed so hard in her life.


	27. Past uncovered- secrets almost

Everyone at the dinner table- other then Valarie who was out at a patient- was laughing and talking between themselves, even the Turner's had joined for dinner. Little Anglea Turner was sat next to her godmother, talking animatedly.

"Sis Julie?" Anglea asked thoughtfully.

"Yes dear?" Sister Julienne smiled at the youngest Turner, a lot of the table had also smiled at the young girl.

"Can you stop being a nun?" The whole room fell silent, Shelagh's cheeks burned red in embarrassment, All eyes went to Shelagh, smirking. Patrick's and Trixie were trying harder then anything not to burst out laughing.

"Um, well, it is possible, if they want to leave, they can." Sister Julienne was having a hard time keeping a straight face to little girl.

"Have you ever known someone to leave the order, Sister?" Lucille asked obliviously.

Trixie, Patrick, Sister Julienne, Timothy, Phyllis and Sister Winifred all burst into laughter.

"Just one!" Sister Julienne and Trixie exclaimed simultaneously.

"Oh my word," Shelagh exclaimed, burying her head in her hands, Lucille just looked at the table quizzically, Angela now more interested in her food and the rest of the table in hysterics.

"What? Who was it?" Lucille countined, completely unaware of why everyone was behaving so oddly.

Shelagh removed her head from her hands and looked at Lucille, "Me." She gave a half smile before lightly touching the almost invisible scar on her left palm.

"What?! No! But, what?" Lucille questioned, baffled at the news.

Just then Teddy started crying for attention, "I'll get him!" Timothy piped up, having barley recovered his breath from laughing so hard.

"Thank you. I think." Shelagh said as Patrick winked at his son.

"I was Sister Bernadette. Let's just say over a series of events over about two years, I was having difficulty with my vocation. I got TB in '58, and when I recovered I left the order and five months, two weeks and three days later I got married." Shelagh explained to the newest addition, meanwhile her running her palm got more and more obvious.

Patrick and Shelagh glanced at each other, memories flying through each of there heads till Shelagh looked away and began to take a drink.

"Shelagh, how come you always rub the bottom of your left hand whenever you explain your past as a nun?" Trixie looked at the married couple, slightly amused but the question was laced with genuine curiosity.

Patrick's eyes widened and Shelagh separated her hands and stretched he hands out at her side, "Habit, I always do when explain something that happened to me in the past, do not know why, I think it is because my mother used to do it to me before she died." Shelagh quickly lies, trying to hide the embarrassment of being caught.

Once the conversations started up again, Patrick whispered in his wife's ear, "I really wish the old parish hall kitchen was still there, because I would be whisking you away there now. Is that in your head now?" He chuckled.

"Sort of, the dreams I had afterwards." She turned to look at her husband, "I will explain later and perhaps re-enact some?" And with a wink, the night went on as normal till they were home and the children were in bed. The dreams that plagued Sister Bernadette, are now heaven to Shelagh Turner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to all small children who embarrass someone then fine there food or toys far more intresting


	28. Spiders

Mother Mildred had brought the Nonnatus team to the church everyone would be staying in. Mother Mildred was ordering Fred and Patrick around with all the box if equipment, Sister Julienne was talking with Nurse Crane while having a look around, meanwhile, Lucille and Valerie emptied there bags on there beds.

Trixie and Shelagh strolled around, removing sheets and exploring. Both women bent down as Shelagh picked up an old broken clock, however, there was a spider about two by two centimetres long, causing both women to jump back and scream.

All eyes turned to the two women who, while clutching there hearts, turned around and half ran to the other end of the hall.

"What's going on?" Mother Mildred asked, glaring at the two nurses. Everyone was looking at them with concern, except for Patrick who was trying to hide his laughter but for the most part failing.

Phyllis had started to go over there, but Trixie stopped her, "I would not recommend you going there Phyllis, spiders." Everyone let out a breath at the relief that it was only spiders, Phyllis backed away slowly, and Patrick did not even try to hide his laughter.

"You're afraid of spiders Shelagh? I mean I knew Trixie was but I never thought you would be!" Valarie asked, smirking.

"I have arachnophobia, alright? My father terrified me with spiders when I was five and I have never really got over the fear. In Poplar, they are tiny! Not two by two centimetres like that one, smar in Africa!" Shelagh told them all, glaring at her chuckling husband.

Shelagh walked up to her husband and slapped him-relatively hard- in the chest. "And you'll be quiet." She glared at him, then lowered her voice, "or you will not see a bed again." She added darkly, eyes twinkling.

"Yes madam" he looked at her, everybody else already gotten back to what they were doing before- bar Trixie- and Shelagh just glared at him.

Shelagh walked back to Trixie, "What did you tell him? When you went all quiet and he said yes madam?" Trixie's eye's we're eager.

"You you will never see a bed again" the two burst into laughter.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A few days into the trip, Shelagh and Trixie where taking a minute outside.

Lucille popped her head out and asked for Trixie, so her and Shelagh went inside. Shelagh took her handkerchief out when she spotted a spider on it.

Shelagh let out a small wimper, but then realised it was fake and caught her husband laughing out the side of her eye.

Shelagh excused herself, and went to her husband. His laughing ceased when he caught the anger in her eyes. She dragged him out by his wrist and pushed him against the wall.

"Don't. You. Dare. Do. That. Again." Shelagh said through gritted teeth, tears threatened to fall.

"I am sorry, I am sorry!" He held his hands up in surrender, "what did your father do?" He asked cautiously.

By now Shelagh was pacing, "My stupid father hid fake spiders around my room so only I would find them, then told my they were poisonous, scaring me immensely, so know even if I know they are safe, I am in my room as a five year old scared for my life, Especially as that was the size he used to buy." Shelagh explained

"Oh darling! I am sorry" he actually meant it this time, saddness laced in his voice and compassion obvious in his eyes. He held her in frount of him, and kissed her forehead, which just caused the tears to fall down his wife's face.

"Just please don't do it again." She escaped his grip, wiped her eyes and went inside to get ready for the day.


	29. Unwanted

Shelagh walked through the front door of 19 Kenilworth Row. Timothy was with his grandmother and Patrick finally had a day off. Shelagh's smile still on her face, she silently took her shoes and coat off before walking into the living room.

The sight that greeted her was not what she expected.

Patrick- her husband, the man she made love to only this morning- was sat in the couch with Mrs Gerwel straddled in his lap. Shelagh gasped at the sight, tears already forming in her eyes.

Patrick tore his eyes away from Mrs Gerwel to look at Shelagh. "Well, what can you expect Shelagh. You have even said it yourself I deserve better and I have found better!" He told her, rollling his eyes before directing his attention back to the other woman who looked as if she could not care less at being found.

"I, I." Shelagh murmured. After months of heartache, longing, pain, suffering Shelagh was finally happy, and it was all tore away from her. She stepped back, grabbed onto the table with white nuckles and tried to even out her breathing. What had she done wrong? Why was Patrick acting so weirdly? Or was She naive enough to believe he would stay faithful to her, Whalen she was a walking disaster? "Patrick, do you really want me to go?" She bit her lip, terrified of the answer.

He looked to her as if she had just asked the stupidest question ever, "Do you really need to ask me that? Yes I want you to go!"

"No, no, No Patrick please don't do this!"

"Shelagh! Shelagh walk up! Shelagh darling, wake up." Shelagh awoke to the sound of her husband voice calling out her name and someone shaing her.

She sat up to see her husband looking worryingly at her, his hand clutching hers. "Patrick?" She asked meeklywondering if the situation she had just witnessed was true, her tired eyes without her glasses on could only make out her husband but not much else in the room.

"It is me darling, it is me, are you alright? I-" he began.

"Do you really want me to leave you?" Shelagh asked meekly again, cowering slightly away.

"What? No! No, never! Shelagh, I love you and I definitely do not want you to leave! He started, looking slightly shocked and ever increasing worry etched on his face. He opened his mouth to speck again but Shelagh has already crashed herself into his arms, buried her head in his bare chest, taking in his smell which felt exactly like home. Patrick went quite and wrapped his arms around his wife placing soft kisses to he head. Soon his chest was soaking, but he did not care, Shelagh's sobs had reduced to sniffles and having her in his arms, no matter what was heavenly.

"What happened?" He finally asked when she sat back.

Shelagh started at her hands, " I came in the house, and when I walked into the living room, I saw you and-" Shelagh looked up briefly to look at her husbands eyes, then looked down again, "and another woman." She did not dare say she knew exactly who it was, Mrs Gerwel has been flirting with her husband all through clinic, "You um, told me, um that you deserve better then me, that I even said so, and you found someone better, then you told me to leave. She looked up and instead of the anger she expected to see, Shelagh saw horror.

"Shelagh! I have the best wife I could of ever imagined and I want nothing more then to be with you! And when did you say that you don't deserve me?"

"Um" Shelagh tried to remember the last time she had said it out loud in public, "Tuesday clinic. Was the last time I said it in front of people, you had calmed down an anxious mother and as I was looking at you, you caught my eye and we both smiled, you went on with your next patient, Mrs Gerwel and I said it then." She responded in a quite voice.

"Shelagh. Listen to me, you are the most beautiful, kind, intelligent, compassionate, sweetest person I know. Meanwhile I am a old worn out man who has only just been made happy and look like I have not gotten dressed blindly" the two laughed a little, "because you are in my life Shelagh. I love you and never forget that." Patrick's eyes bore into hers, filled with love.

Shelagh flew her arms around his neck and crashed her lips on his in a passionate kiss which he immediately and eagerly responded to.

"Oh Patrick, I love you to." She kisses him again this time on the nose. Then a mischievous look appeared in her eye, all thoughts about her nightmare had completely disappeared. "Will you show me how much?" A smirk appeared on both of there faces.

"Happily."


	30. Jealousy and passion

"So Shelagh. What you up to?" Trixie asked perching herself on the edge of Shelagh's desk. The former nun was facing the remaining patients with her colleagues.

"Do you think she is blind?" Shelagh asked out of the blue.

"Blind? Who?" Trixie asked perplexed.

"Mrs Jones. Can she not see his ring?" Trixie scanned the crowd and lay her eyes on Doctor Turner talking to Mrs Jones.

"I just thing she does not care." Trixie replies, disgusted at the sight of that women- married as well- flirting so openly with Shelagh's husband.

"Ugh, look! She is making doe eyes! I could slap her!" Shelagh's eyes flared anger.

Trixie then got a bright idea. "Are you done today?" Shelagh nodded, "right tell Sister Julienne you have to go and I can move your stuff later, tell her to speck to me after. I can help you with your man!" Trixie's eyes twinkled as she whispered the plan in the former nuns ear.

"Ok, good luck!" Shelagh did not even want to try and argue, she trusted Trixie. "Should I go to the surgery?" She asked while collecting her things.

"Yes, I will be there after as well, now go!" Shelagh talked to Sister Julienne and snook away, and thankfully for Trixie, Patrick did not notice.

Trixie walked on over. "Doctor Turner. Are you done yet? Shelagh has gone to the surgery, she is awaiting you in your office. I dare say that all the papers will not be on the desk for long and she asks you to hurry up." Trixie winked and just before Mrs Jones could sneak away, Trixie turned around and added, "She has changed into a mini skirt by the way!"

Patrick never finished patient notes and clearing up so fast before with such a smile on his face. He grabbed his coat, apologised to Sister Julienne and ran out the door.

Sister Julienne laughed when Trixie explained the situation and replied, "Ok I will let them off. Good luck at the maternity home tonight!" The two laughed then got on with there duties.

Meanwhile at the surgery, Shelagh was wearing a pale blue mini skirt with a whit blouse with a plunging neckline. Trixie got it her as a joke, and Shelagh did not feel comfortable wearing it in public so had more respectable clothes in a bag. Patrick rushed through the doors and ran into his office.

After an hour of passion behind a locked door, Trixie had to knock and tell them that Doctor Turner's rounds began in ten minutes. Needless to say, the two stopped with about a minute to spare so Patrick was late on his rounds, and the two could hardly last through dinner when he got home, let alone till Tim went to bed for there passion to countine.

They did not sleep for very long that night, and for once it was not to do with the phone ringing.


	31. Forearms

"Have you seen his forearms?"

"I know! I wish he had not married that nun, I would of married him just so I could look at them forearms all day!"

"Really Carol, you're married! Besides. He's mine."

You're married too!"

"Whatever. He's mine!"

Mrs Carol Versury and Mrs Elizabeth Smith whispered just loud enough for each other to hear. Or so they thought. It was a quite a slow day, and Trixie had no more patients left for the day- so was sat with Shelagh, listening in on the conversation between the two women about the local GP.

"Oh my word, they are at it again!" Shelagh sighed exasperated.

"What do you mean again? I have never heard it before," Trixie asked, smirking.

"Oh really Trixie! They do it every week!" She rolled her eyes eyes.

"Oh? Why are you so annoyed over it?"

"Really Trixie! Everyone knows that quite a lot of the women at clinic liked Patrick and I am hardly first prize material, I am clueless in not only love but the 1950s as I a normal women! I can not get anything right, I have annoyed Tim no end with being to protective, I am hardly the perfect wife and Patrick would probably be more happy with one of them! Why on Earth are looking at me like I am a ghost?"

"Shelagh! Of course I am shocked! Your husband loves you far more then he could ever love any of them women! Of course you would be a little out of depth, you were a nun for a decade- but you are doing so well! You are an incredible mother and an amazing wife and your dishy Doctor would not be any happy with anyone else! Also, you are the only one who has permission to talk about his forearms!" She winked at the last comment causing them both to laugh.

"Thanks Trixie, I needed that. What should I do?"

"Protect your dishy doctors forearms?" Trixie suggested cheekily.

However, Shelagh took her literal and took her hair out of her customary updo, "I will!" She walked over to her husband, "Hello Patrick."

"Hello Shelagh," his eyes flared with passion.

She stroked his forearms, "I am off home, be home as soon as possible- clothes off as soon as you step in the door. Your forearms are fantastic by the way, have I ever mentioned that?" She winked at him, then kissed him with far more passion then any kiss they had shared anywhere outside their marital bed. Patrick, needless to say, happily and eagerly responded to.

Shelagh walked past all the gaping nuns, nurses and patients. Her husband looked so adorably confused, sexy and head over heels in love. Sister Evangelina looked scandalised at hearing such words from her former sister. Shelagh walked up to Trixie and whispered "I'll phone you later", grabbed her coat and purse and walked out. Swaying her hips a little more then nessasary.

"What the? Sister Julienne, I have no patients left, I need to head home. Goodbye." And he too grabbed his coat and briefcase.

Trixie turned towards Mrs Versury and Mrs Smith and smiled. "You caused this!" And the two women never looked so horrified before.


	32. Sanatorium letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a fic which is the letter Patrick wrote to Sister Bernadette where he very heavily implied he loves her. Anything In brackets is what Patrick is saying to himself as he writes the letter. Really short but I tried! :)

Dear Sister Bernadette,

I hope you are getting better, Tim hopes you are too. (Hells belt I have only just started and it is bad)

Patients have been keeping me busy, (really Patrick, really?) Tim has been busy a lot, homework been keeping him busy. He is currently doing a geography project on the UK at the minute as I write this. (Oh my word. Patrick Turner just stop there)

Nurse Franklin told me she is going to visit you tomorrow, I fear Tim might send a butterfly with her. (That was just stupid Patrick)

(Alright Patrick, as you have no response and the nurses do- oh my word shoot me) I really miss you. I am being really bold- probably to much- but I miss you and I hope beyond all rationality you get better and I will see you again. The thought of you under the same sky makes me smile- but I want to see you, I just want to know you are alright, even if you want me to go and never see you again- all I wish is you are alright. (Well just write your heart out, Turner)

This is a short letter because nothing interesting has happened work wise I wish you were working with me- you are the best nurse in Nonnatus- and Timothy has wrote a letter with his butterfly and he has not allowed me to see or read it I do not want to repeat things twice. (Just end the letter already)

Please, (please, please, please) get better.

From,

Dr Turner


	33. Bicycles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you aimeekiwi93 for beta!
> 
> Just a one hundred word story as I have not updated in forever.

When she first came to Poplar, Sister Bernadette hated riding her bike from house to house; she grew to love it. She loved the feeling of her wimple being blown in the wind as she sped across the streets of Poplar. When she first came to Nonnutus house she never imagined after months of being away she would miss that battered old bike.

As Shelagh Mannion walked along a Misty Road after getting the wrong bus, she could think of nothing better than riding along on her bike.

Until she saw the green MG. Far better then any old bike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof I have this but here you go!


	34. Dinner with the family (modern!au)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern!au where Shelagh is going to her parents for Christmas along with her best friend and son...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter that was actually be beta-Ed! Thanks aimee-Jessica for editing and hurrying me along

Christmas Eve.

The old green MG drove through the Scottish town. Every house was showered in every light imaginable and each shop had a Christmas tree in the window, decorations hung left, right and centre. Even the battered old chippy was strung in festivity. The radio blared from almost all the buildings, creating a collage of Christmas songs. 

“Ahh! Merry Christmas, love!” came the warm greeting, followed by a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas to you Mrs Mannion, and thank you for having me! I am sorry to be a bother.” 

“Call me Gwen and you are no trouble at all! As soon as Shelagh told me her friend and his son had nowhere to go this Christmas- I could not leave you at home alone!”

“And subject me to his cooking?!” the young boy piped up, grimacing at the thought of his fathers cooking.

Everyone in the room laughed, “Well that's you told, lad! I am Bobby” the older man put his hand forward for him to shake, which he did, firmly.

“I am afraid you and Shelaghare going to have to share a room. Young Timothy can bunk in the baby's room.” she turned towards him, ”Sorry lad!” she placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

Timothy did not answer and ran with a smile to his room, following the directions that echoed behind him as he disappeared up the stairs and down the hallway. 

Shelagh dragged Patrick up to the guest bedroom, only to find one bed. The room was small without the double bed, a chest of drawers and a small wardrobe stood to the side opposite the door, everything was a dark wood, save the mattress and covers of the bed which were cream, setting a clear difference. The atmosphere between the two people was tense and one of bewilderment. 

”Oh no. Mum never told me that! I am sorry you- you don't have to- I mean- we are- I-” she stammered nervously. She should curse her mother for the lack of appropriate sleeping arrangements 

“Shelagh look at me. I can sleep on the sofa.” He attempted to calm her with an easy resolution.

”I can not possibly let you do that! Your feet will be hanging off the edge!” 

“So…”

“So, we are both adults who can share a bed without any, to quote Tim, mushy stuff involved," she stood a little straighter, remembering their little secret. A smile tugged at her lips. "Besides we know the truth and we are telling them tomorrow.”

”You're certain?”

“Couldn't be more certain.”

****  
Christmas day.

“IF YOU ALL ARE NOT IN THE DINING ROOM NOW AFTER I HAVE SHOUTED FIVE TIMES THEN I WILL THROW THIS TURKEY ON YOU!” shouted an exasperated voice of Gwen Mannion from the kitchen.

Luckily for everyone, they were all set up at the kitchen table. The table was a dark wood, covered in a decorative white cloth that hung over the edge, sprinkled in red confetti. Crackers were placed at the top of each festive placemat which depicted an old fashioned Christmas scene. China plates sat on top of the placemats, with silver cutlery at the sides and the 70 year old wine glasses which only were brought out for special occasions. The sound of the Queen's speech drifted from the living room down the hall, muted by the sounds of merriment coming from the occupants of the table. 

The turkey was placed delicately in the middle of the table, causing the occupants to give a round of applause to the chef. Feeling proud of his efforts, his ego was stroked further as his wife placed a light peck on his lips, making Shelagh roll her eyes and Timothy mutter under his breath about how adults and their mushy stuff were gross.

Over the next hour and a half, the five enjoyed eating their Christmas Dinner, engaging in a range of conversation. 

With the dinner finished and plates had been cleared, conversations geared towards the two friends.

“So you told us you are a doctor and that's how you met, but who are you to each other?” Bobby asked Patrick, bold from the copious amounts of champagne he had consumed.

This earned him a scornful look from his wife across the table at the audacity of the question.

Patrick blushed as Gwen lightly slaps the other man on the arm and Timothy hides his smile in his arm.

“Mum. Dad. I’m glad you brought the conversation here as this is what I wanted to tell you. Patrick and I are more than just friends. We are a couple. And actually-” Shelagh hooked a finger around the necklace strung loosely around her neck, pulling it from its tucked position under her long-sleeved, woolly jumper, to reveal an engagement ring hanging from the chain. “He asked me this morning and I said yes.” she looked across at him, love and adoration flashing through her eyes. 

She moved forward and whispered only so he could hear “the best Christmas gift I could ever hope to receive," before their lips met in a loving kiss.

Timothy beamed at the announcement. Bobby and Gwen took a moment, shocked by the sudden twist the pair had thrown them, before raising their glasses. "To Patrick and Shelagh!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


	35. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fred and Patrick are renovating the garden, for some reason a hole is built in the middle if the garden. A deep one as well, as Shealgh will soon find out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the prompt- “Can you lift me up? I can't reach." 🥺 from @aimee-jessica
> 
> And thank you aimed-jessica for being my beta and pointing out how bad of a writer I am! (okay give me a break my grammar was appealing and everything went wrong like usual its bad but whatever)

Shelagh and Patrick had decided several weeks ago that they were going to re-do the garden. They had come to the conclusion that it needed attention when Patrick had made mention to her that there had been no landscaping, or general garden work for that matter, completed since Marianne had passed away nearly three years prior. 

Shelagh had begrudged the idea of Patrick enlisting the help of Fred. While the man had proven to her over the years that he was handy, she had always known that Fred’s ideas were mad and, half the time, they weren't even on the right side of the law.

Shelagh had wanted to be let in on the plan that Fred and Patrick had decided. She had been watching from the kitchen as both men excitedly bounced ideas off each other, and she had become frustrated when the pair set to work digging a hole in the middle of the garden without her approval. 

So far no accidents had happened; Well, no serious ones. Fred had slipped up on a pile of dirt within the hole, he landed firmly on his backside. He and Patrick had laughed about it after Fred insisted that the only thing that was broken was his pride.

Shelagh had only ventured outside once, to bring the teacups inside It was there that she had finally seen the mammoth hole the men had dug, and she wondered why on earth they needed a hole that large in their yard.

With the cups brought inside, Shelagh had decided to venture back into the yard barefooted to inspect the hole again, but with the sun finally falling below the horizon, she misplaced her footing and ended up falling straight in. 

She was fortunate to only receive a blow to the shin which she assumed would begin to bruise any moment now.

Shelagh tried getting out, however, she found her limbs too short to be able to fully pull herself out. 

With Fred gone, Timothy spending the night with his grandmother, and her husband presumably in the bath cleansing himself of the day's activities, she shifted and turned around in an attempt to find a way out.

After what seemed like an age, the silence of late evening was broken when she finally heard her husband's footfalls on the stairs. “Thank goodness!” She muttered quietly to herself.

From the hole, Shelagh could hear Patrick walk through the kitchen, back into the lounge and she could see clearly in her mind how his hand would run through his wet hair as he looked for her. She thinks she heard a “Shelagh” in his deep voice.

She meekly shouted ”Out here.” to him.

He stepped outside with a smile which soon vanished. “Shelagh, where-” but before Shelagh could say anything he looked down.

She had never heard such a laugh.

“Oh Patrick grow up!” she rolled her eyes to hide the embarrassment. “Shelagh, ” he wheezed, “How did you?” he continued laughing.

“Oh be quiet” she whispered and Patrick eventually stopped laughing. “Are you done?” She barely made out his nod in the dim evening light. , “Good, now,” she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, “Can you lift me up? I can't reach.” she whispered, her eyes looking down in embarrassment

“Oh darling,” Patrick jumped in, much to Shelagh’s confusion. He dug his hands into the side of the hole at different heights to create small footholds. He pulled himself out of the hole in one fluid motion, turning to look back down on his wife. 

Slowly but surely Shelagh made her way up, each foot slotting into the holes he had dug for her. She caused herself for not having thought of the idea herself, but equally cursed her husband for not just reaching in to help her out.

Patrick had extended his strong arm for her to grab a hold of as she clambered out of the hole, her bare feet becoming more soiled as she felt dirt accumulate under her toenails. 

She was too embarrassed to say or do anything, so as her eyes shifted about awkwardly, she made haste through the backdoor, not caring for the dirty footprints she would be left to clean later, all the while mumbling about needing a bath; this was endearing to her husband.

It was about half an hour before Shelagh came down the stairs; she had been finished for five minutes before she came down, caught up staring at her reflection, scolding herself for being a fool and trying to prepare herself to hide her embarrassment from her husband. 

However, when she came down she was taken aback at the sight of her husband. 

He was sat on the sofa with two mugs in hand and if her assumption were correct, they each contained Horlicks.

Shelagh sat down next to him and whispered a quiet thank you and an apology.

“Don’t be sorry." He told her, as he handed her a mug. A grin quickly formed on his features. "It's not your fault that you're short” 

He went to run his fingers through her hair, but he had not realised that his comment had affected her. 

She placed the mug on the coffee table and shuffled away from him,refusing to look at him. 

“Shelagh, I love your height. I'm sorry, that was insensitive of me. I thought you might see the humour,"” She mumbled incoherently, causing him to arch a brow. “What darling?”

“My father was slightly smaller than you and my mother slightly smaller than me and he hated it.” Patrick sidled up next to her, effectively trapping her between his body and the arm of the couch. He gathered her in his arms, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. 

“Oh my darling, I couldn't care less about your height!” he attempted to sooth, but the damage had been done. "I am not laughing at your stature, I am laughing at the comical nature of you falling into a hole that you could not climb out of."

Shelagh was reluctant to give into his pull on her, still mad about the whole scenario. "Had you and Fred not dug a hole that size, I never would have got into that mess!" She turned to face him, a pout scrunching at her features. "Why on earth did you boys even need to dig a hole of that size!?"

Patrick saw no way of getting out of his wife’s fury unscathed, he thought it best to bite the bullet and be honest. "To be perfectly honest with you, I have no idea," he shrugged his shoulders. "You know how Fred can be when he gets an idea,"

"Patrick Turner," despite her bruised shin and hurt feelings, she couldn't stay mad at him, eventually giving into his pull to curl up into his side. "Next time you invite Fred Buckle over to assist with any form of landscaping or renovation, you run the idea through me first, got it?" 

Patrick could only not his agreement at his wife's stern words. He was thankful, however, to feel her body relax further into his body. She obviously wasn't entirely mad at him, he thought, as he began to drag fingers through her damp hair.

"I love you," he told her.

"Mhm," she hummed contentedly. "Let's see if you still love me after I make you fill in that stupid hole tomorrow."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading x

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! No idea how many chapters please feel free to send me prompts on Tumblr levinson-mannion


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